Ink
by Little.Latina
Summary: Raw feelings, messy poetry, ink-stained blood.
1. Chapter 1

_I remember not_

_(yes, I do)_

_I fear not_

_(yes, I do)_

_I ache not _

_(yes, I do)_

_I cry not_

_(yes, I do; every night)_

_I need you not_

_(yes, I do)_

_I lie not_

_(yes, I do; all the time)_

_I breathe not_

_(yes, I still do)_

_I died in your arms;_

_You died in mine._

_I remember not_

_(yes, I do)_


	2. Chapter 2

_I showed you a hero_

_(myself); _

_you wrote me no tragedy._

_A promise of sorts was broken_

_(you had offered)._

_You dared going further._

_Writer of love letters,_

_You carved out of the hero I showed you_

_(myself)_

_the soldier that lives._

_A tragedy of sorts, then, existed;_

_a hero of sorts was still needed._

_You carved a new one out of a man in love_

_(yourself)_

_and the promise of 'always' was fulfilled._


	3. Chapter 3

_The oxygen my lungs feed off_

_I breathe because of you._

_The tears my eyes are clouded by_

_I cry because of you._

_The words my heart bleeds out_

_I write because of you._

_The songs that make sense_

_I listen to because of you._

_The memories I cannot erase_

_I live with because of you. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Flesh_

_And bones_

_And dead cells_

_And brain_

_And a bundle of nerves_

_And raw skin_

_And dry blood_

_And ashes_

_And dust_

_And marble_

_And a grave_

_And wilted flowers_

_And a date set on stone._

_Her death has nestled itself between my lungs_

_And with each breath I take_

_My heart threatens to stop_

_Because of the pain,_

_Because of the abuse._

_With each breath I take_

_I murder her again_

_Because of the pain,_

_Because of the abuse._

_Her death has nestled itself between my lungs. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Your name sounds like a fairy tale being written;  
>like a great love story being told;<br>like a parent soothing their child;  
>like a song that at last makes sense.<em>


	6. Chapter 6

_Oh, how damaging this aching is,_

_it eats me up inside._

_Oh, my love, how terrible, this pain I must endure_

_is tearing me apart._

_Will I live to see a day when this torture meets its end?_

_Or will I succumb, too weak to survive, another of its victims?_


	7. Chapter 7

_Author, there is no blood in your veins;_

_your heart is fed by the ink _

_you write your stories with._

_Author, is it ink that I taste in your tongue?_

_Is it ink dripping off your fingers_

_what leaves stained my naked skin?_

_Author, there is no other fluid in you_

_than the ink you write love letters to me with._

_Is it ink that so deliciously fills me?_

_Author, there is no ink in your veins now;_

_there are no fluids in your body now;_

_I'm filled with you. _

_Ink-stained dreams_

_leave me empty and dry every night;_

_messy, ink-stained poetry_

_leaves me emptier and drier._


	8. Chapter 8

_A raindrop on a red rose_

_that feels like velvet to the touch;_

_my favorite pair of warm woolen mittens_

_in contrast to a silver white winter;_

_snowflakes that caress my skin as they fall,_

_they stay on my nose and eyelashes_

_until they melt into spring;_

_the cream colored pony you once tried to buy me;_

_a coffee machine hidden in a brown paper package_

_tied up with strings._

_You are the raindrop on the rose,_

_and the warm pair of woolen mittens,_

_and the silver white winter that freezes over New York,_

_and the snowflakes that taste like kisses._

_You are the spring my life has melted into,_

_you are a fairytale with princesses and cream colored ponies,_

_you are fresh coffee on my tongue,_

_you are a surprise in a brown paper package_

_tied up with strings._

_You are the man I am in love with,_

_you are all of my favorite things. _


	9. Chapter 9

_Your eyes are blue;_

_so was the sky the day I felt my body become soulless._

_My eyes are green,_

_so was the grass I thought would be my deathbed._


	10. Chapter 10

_Pawn in a game of chess we may be._

_I would never breathe a word about it_

_But I've always thought you to be my King._


	11. Chapter 11

_The smell of summer reminds me of you._

_Summer smells like the absence of you._

_The smell of fall reminds me of you._

_Fall smells like silence cutting my heart open._

_The smell of winter reminds me you._

_Winter smells like coffee in my mouth and green eyes meeting blue._

_The smell of spring reminds me of you._

_Spring smells like a bullet in the chest and three words caressing me as the lights go out. _


	12. Chapter 12

_Oh, the pain!_

_Oh, the weight in my heart._

_I can barely breathe._

_It eats my insides._

_Oh, the pain!_

_Oh, the ache in my soul._

_I can barely exist._

_I wonder if I'll ever feel whole. _


	13. Chapter 13

_I carry this dead weight with me._

_I carry it wherever I go._

_The fear of abandonment, _

_The bitter anxiety,_

_The loss of somebody I love._


	14. Chapter 14

_Silence falls upon us_

_In the midst of a cold night._

_No words needed on our lips_

_When we can read the palms of our hands._


	15. Chapter 15

_I shiver to the rhythm of your words._

_My love, my always._

_You talk to me in riddles,_

_And I listen._

_Only you know how to caress my soul_

_At all the right times, in all the right places._

_My life is beautified by the rhythm of your words._

_You talk me out of my own riddles,_

_And I listen._

_I waltz into your arms to the rhythm of your words._

_I see myself through your eyes._

_I suddenly become self aware._

_I shudder._

_You write of our love on my skin._

_Your mouth and hands feel like a riddle._

_My body listens. _


End file.
